If You Do Nothing Else, Create a Letter of Intent for Your Child with Special Needs

As parents of children with special needs, we often carry the weight of planning for a future we may not always be able to guide. Therapies, education plans, medical decisions, daily routine - every detail of your child's life is carefully shaped by your love and knowledge. But what happens if one day you're not there to explain it all?

A Letter of Intent is one of the most powerful (and overlooked) tools a parent can create. It isn't a legal document, and it doesn't require a lawyer. Instead, it's a heartfelt, practical roadmap that captures everything a future tutor, caregiver, guardian, or family member would need to know to care for your child the way you do.

It's your voice when you can't speak. It's your guidance when someone else must step in. And it may be the single most important document you ever write for your child.

A Letter of Intent is often described as "babysitter instructions on steroids" and helps a new caregiver get "up to speed" on the child. While no one can truly replace a parent, a Letter of Intent can save time, reduce frustration and stress, and help the new caregiver better support the child. The information within a Letter of Intent helps make the transition smoother after a parent's passing. It should include important information such as:

Medical Information:

• Diagnosis

• Allergies

• Current medications

• Medical history

• List of doctors, hospitals, and therapy providers

Government and Other Benefits:

• SSI, Medicaid

• SSDI, Medicare

• Other benefits

• How to apply or reapply

Family Background

• Parent history

• Contact Information of Relatives

Personal Information

• Friends and social groups

• Religion, faith, or values

Education

• School history

• Current teachers

• IEP/504 plan details

• Special interests, skills, goals

Employment (if applicable)

Recreation & Hobbies

Daily/Monthly/Yearly Routines

Likes & Dislikes

Dietary Needs

Equipment & Supplies

• including how to re-order

Home Modifications

Behavior Management

• Calming strategies (including what hasn't worked in the past)

Personal Message from the Parent

• Discuss your love, hopes, and dreams for your child

It can be as short or as detailed as you prefer. However, the more information you provide, the better. It's also a good idea to write it for someone who knows nothing about your child, especially if your child is non-verbal or has trouble communicating their needs. Even if you expect a family member or a friend to be the caregiver, life can be unpredictable. That person may become ill, pass away, or decide they can't take on the role. For this reason, a Letter of Intent should be written to help anyone who may step in as the caregiver.

It's completely free to write a Letter of Intent. It just takes your time and effort to create one. It may be helpful to work on the Letter of Intent in small steps, perhaps a little each week. The writing process can be emotional, but once it's done, many parents feel a sense of relief and peace of mind.

Byrd Law offers a free, professional-grade Letter of Intent template that you can download from our website. It's an easy-to-use, fillable PDF, designed for universal use. It can be used for any child, regardless of age, diagnosis, or level of functioning. It helps parents organize all the information a caregiver might need.

Download your free Letter of Intent template -> Free Letter of Intent template

Once the Letter of Intent is completed, it should be updated yearly or whenever there are major changes. A child's birthday is a good reminder that the Letter of Intent may need to be updated.

You can store it digitally, or keep a printed copy in a safe but accessible location. It is very important to let trusted friends or family know that it exists and where it can be located, in case of an emergency.

Remember, a Letter of Intent isn't a legally binding document. It cannot replace traditional estate planning documents, such as a will or a trust. However, if parents do nothing else, at least create a Letter of Intent to help the new caregiver better support your child.